Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Playing Catch Up
Waiting for the inevitable to happen was not easy either...waiting on God's timing to take him home to heaven. I knew his time was through and I had no things left undone to say to daddy. I had spent the last three months having some great conversations and times with him that I will never forget. I know God had a plan in letting us live here for the last 8 months. I tell my kids everyday to be thankful that they could spent papa's last days right here with him. They loved going to see Papa at the hospice house, even though daddy got less and less responsive to them. They have lots of great memories and times spent and shared with Papa that they will never forget (I hope). I had the privilege of staying the last night with daddy. Something in my heart told me to stay. I sent mom across the hall to sleep and I laid there and listened to daddy breathe. The nurse came in around 5am to take his vitals and his blood pressure was 75/45, she didn't say much and I somehow managed to finally doze off to sleep. Mom came across the hall around 7am and said, "Erin, I think he's gone." Sure enough, he wasn't breathing anymore....we called the nurse in and it was confirmed. It was so peaceful. Everyone had been there the night before to give their love, our former pastor from TX and dear family friend had even been by and shared some thoughts about daddy and heaven before we went to bed that night. I can't help but think that was where daddy's mind was. All I know is that the moment he breathed his last breath we was perfect. No more cancer, no more coughing, no more pain or suffering! The selfish part of me doesn't want him so far away...but the loving part of me knows that he is more alive than ever.
So somehow all of this was part of God's big plan that just keeps unfolding to Sam and I. The weeks and days before daddy's death I kept thinking all these thoughts about being away in Chicago and something happening....and I got to be right there with him in the same room when it all happened. I have learned so much from watching my mom tirelessly take care of daddy from day one. No one was ever so dedicated to my daddy. That will be forever etched in my mind.