Thursday, August 18, 2011

15 days....

My kids ask us just about everyday, "how many more days until we leave for Chicago?"  So, we made a countdown on our calendar in attempts to keep the nagging at a low.  I am reminded how soon we will be leaving South Carolina for the north!  I know we will only be gone for 5 months, but I also know that things won't be the same when we return!
We took a trip to the cemetery yesterday evening.  The kids have been asking pretty often about going to see papa.  Their different responses were pretty interesting.  Ashlyn (4) immediately asked if we could dig him up.  Madelyn (3) kept saying, "Papa is in heaven." Bryson (8) was fairly quiet about the whole thing.  Landon (6) who seems to be the most outward with his grief spent a lot of time just standing there at his grave.  He picked up a rock and drew a cross in the dirt and wrote "Love Papa."  He hugged me for a long time and kept saying, "I miss Papa and love him so much!"  He said can we get some food and sit right here and have a picnic.  I reminded Landon that Papa's body was buried here, but he was really in heaven and that if we trust Christ we can see him again one day.  I pray that God will continue to work in his young heart.  I have to say the last few weeks have been hard at times.  There are times I want to talk to daddy so bad or just see his smile or touch his hand, but I know that won't happen and some days that is so hard to swallow.
Our days are pretty much filled with last minute doctor and dentist check ups for the kiddos, laundry, packing, trashing, sorting, meeting up with friends, etc.  I have to admit that the closer it gets the more anxious I become about this new step.  I do know however and have the confidence that God is right here with me and knows exactly where I am going.  Church planting is no easy task!  Details seem to cloud my mind and then I become scared, anxious and fretful about how it will all come together....when will I learn?  I just need to rest in God's plan and know that He has everything under control!  I look over the last year and can see His hand so evident in our lives!  This also brings great comfort and peace to me.

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