My heart is so full, I really don't know where to start. There is so much going on on the inside of me that I find it hard to get my thoughts together. I have to say one thing though, God allows hard things in my life not for my pain, but for HIS glory and my good. Really? I know that is the last thing you want to hear when you are in the midst of God doing something you really DON"T understand. Trust me, I have been there MANY times over the last year.
- Why would God move our family to Chicago for 4 months, then to Hickory, NC for a month, all that transition and change and chaos?
- Why would HE allow things for our church plant to be so up and down?
- Why would HE allow the dream and vision of Harvest Greenville South to completely die?
- Why would HE make us suffer such financial loss and heartache?
- Why would I have to go back to work part time?
- Why would my son be diagnosed with learning disabilities?
- Why would I feel so alone and helpless?
These really are just SOME of the emotions and struggles I have faced in the last year. I really want to take several blog posts to cover each of these and more and how God has grown in my heart and my faith through all of this. To be honest, this is going to take a lot of transparency and I still struggle with being so open and honest, but why? In reality, we are all sinners saved by the same grace. I don't have to feel judged or condemned, because Jesus already paid for it on the cross. What others think or say, doesn't matter. I just want to be able to encourage others with how I am growing. Not for my glory, but for His. I am on this journey of grace, and I never imagined how wild of a ride it would be! Would you allow me to be boldly honest about my struggles and how God has redeemed so much in my life...I hope so, because you are just the same...maybe different struggles, but when we can see others in that same light of God's grace, then there is no judgement, only freedom!