Friday, February 22, 2013

Parenting in Grace

Let me take some time to be a little transparent about where my heart is at the moment in this BIG job God has called me to, parenting.  So, a little over 9 1/2 years ago I gave birth to our first born son Bryson.  I was ecstatic to become a mom, this was something I had dreamed about my whole life and then this reality was becoming true.  I have to say, for me, taking care of a newborn seemed pretty easy, I tend to be a bit strict on scheduling for sleep, eating etc., so he seemed to fall into the routine pretty easily, as did the rest of my kiddos when they were born (Landon, Ashlyn, Madelyn & Hudson).  The problem truly came when they were around 2 (maybe some were 18 months, but closer to the 2 year old mark).  All of a sudden, they had this innate desire to start controlling their lives.  You know, if I said A, then they wanted to do B.  Or if they wanted to not do it they were quick to voice their little opinion.  Before now, that really didn't seem to hard to overcome.
So many times though, I am like that little 2 year old stomping my feet and pitching a fit because I want MY way with God.  Somehow I think HE needs to hear what I think and what my opinion about it is.  Just as this is crazy for a 2 year old, how much more crazy is it for me.  I tell my husband often, God made us parents to refine us, not so much our kids. : )  Every day my kids teach me so much about myself that it can be a bit eye opening and convicting all the same.
My prayer lately is that God would give me GRACE to give my kids, instead of so much TRUTH.  I tend to be a truth driven person and sometimes it gets in the way of giving GRACE in situations.  Where would be without God's grace?  I know I would be on my way to hell, because that is what I deserve.  God has been so gracious to redeem me and also to give me the grace I need daily to live for Him.  He so lovingly reminds me daily of how much I need HIM to be a better woman, wife, sister, daughter and yes....parent.

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